summer storm

Ever notice how volatile the weather is in the summer, especially in the south? This is the third night in a row that dark clouds have crept on the horizon with the threat of rain. Last night I was in the gym on the treadmill and the whole place was lit up by the lightning. I watched as the sky got darker and darker and when I walked out to my car the air smelled of rain. I was about 15 minutes away from home when the rain came as a torrential downpour. I think summer storms are kind of eerie and mysterious but they can be cool sometimes too. We've been having lots of severe storms in the area lately though, which is never fun when there's an aftermath. For example, yesterday morning Tanglewood Park (outside of Winston-Salem) had to be shut down because there was a lot of wind and rain on Tuesday night, causing some damage. Thankfully High Point hasn't been included in the cities suffering in the aftermath of storms. As I'm typing this the sky is getting darker. It'll probably rain tonight either on my way to the gym or while I'm driving back home. I just hope we're not going to have to hear about droughts this summer...Lord knows we've had enough rain this year!
Just a thought.
Until next time...

what I need

Life is full of necessities. What is hard sometimes is differentiating between a "want" and a "need." It's so easy to say "Oh, I need that" when you really just want it. There are few things in life that I truly need because I already have a lot. For that I'm extremely thankful. I have a place to live, a good job, a car, and amazing friends. It is hard for me to think of something I'm lacking, but if you ask me what I want I could make a list of possibly hundreds of inane little objects, starting with a sandwich cutter that makes your food in the shape of a dinosaur. I've been seeing those at Wal-Mart for a few months now and I'd really like to have one. Anyway, I've figured out something that I need in my life, and that would be a good man. I'm tired of playing around with boys. I need someone who is in MY league and on MY level. I'm ready for someone to be emotionally committed to me and I to them. In essence what I'm saying is that I have a lot of love to give and I want someone to share that with. I deserve so much better than what I allow myself to put up with and to go through. So there, I'm done with teenage boys and on to real men. I want a relationship to work, to last, and to be happy. I want to cut the crap and just be. That's something I feel like I need as well. So, what I want/need to find is someone who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread (cliche, yet true). I know I can be hard to put up with sometimes, moody, and difficult, but deep down all I really want to do is love. So, anyone who is willing to stick it out with me for a little bit and see how I truly am, please feel free to let me know. I don't have my sights set on anyone, but I'm ready to move on. Get ready men...here I am!

anxiety

This is a busy time of year for a lot of people, and this time my family falls in that category. I'm talking about graduation. My brother is graduating from high school tomorrow. By that I mean the formal ceremony takes place tomorrow night. He finished high school in January by means of "early graduation." So tomorrow afternoon we are having a cook out to celebrate. All week we have been spending a lot of time together because he was supposed to leave for the Marine Corps boot camp this Sunday. Yesterday that changed. His departure date has been pushed back to next month, so he's got a little more time at home. Anyway, I think everyone in my family has been keeping too close quarters because I'm feeling a lot of tension in my house. We all need to be on mood stabilizers I think. This is the first time this summer that my anxiety has flared up, which is pretty good since I normally get it 2-3 times a week. I haven't had any anxiety issues since final exams. My dad is upset that my brother's departure date got pushed back because now Thomas doesn't have a job and he can't make his car payments. That's obviously not good, and the tension from that disappointment is spreading. My dad has been ugly with me all day and I can't stand to be here. I just want to go lay on my couch and watch TV. Instead I am upstairs in my hot room wondering what I can do to avoid any and all contact with him. Yes, I am trying to avoid contact unless absolutely necessary. Unfortunately I can't get out of the house because we are going to dinner together tonight for Thomas. So that means at least an hour of jolly fun...if you could see me rolling my eyes right now you'd know how much I'm NOT looking forward to this. That's the problem with my family. If we spend too much time together or if something happens that makes one of us upset we all get involved and things start to look grim. Usually stuff is between me and my parents or just me and my dad. Occasionally it's my dad and brother. This time I'm an innocent bystander who's unfortunately getting pulled into the negativity of my dad's disappointment. It sucks but what can I do? I'm just doing the best I can by avoiding him right now. Hopefully this will blow over in a few days because I don't know how much more of this I can take. At least I go back to work on Monday and that will get me out of the house until the evening. Then I guess I'll just read my book upstairs or something if things are still tense.
Congratulations Thomas! I know it's great to finish high school. I hope things are better for our cookout tomorrow.
Until next time...

recovery room

I haven't posted in quite some time! My lack of blogging and other internet activities such as getting on Facebook or checking email is due to my gallbladder surgery. I did that last Thursday, May 28. I'm finally starting to feel better. Let me tell you, this surgery was not very difficult but it was no piece of cake either. It took place at 7:30 AM so I was glad I didn't have to wait all day and risk getting really nervous about it. I was in the recovery room by 8:45 AM. I got lots of pain medication and the anesthesia was killer. The one thing that was the hardest to get over other than the anesthesia was the gas they use to blow up your abdomen. They have to do that so they can see inside to remove the gallbladder. It's a laproscopic procedure, meaning that the doctor uses a tiny camera to see inside and remove the gallbladder. Fun stuff. So the gas is really hard to get over because you can't pass it. The tissues in your body have to reabsorb it, and in order to do that you have to get up and move around. I wasn't able to do that until about 6:30 PM the day of my surgery. After I got over the gas I was okay. The only one of my four small incisions that hurt or gave me any problems at all was the 1/2 inch one above my belly button. It looks the nastiest, it's the biggest, and that's the one my gallbladder was removed through. Aside from the incision stinging, there was a lingering pain in my right side where my gallbladder was missing and in my right shoulder. Apparently the air supply to the shoulder is along the same line as the diaphram and that gets all messed up when they do this specific operation. So my shoulder has been killing me and the pain in my side isn't great either. However, today is the first day I haven't woken up absolutely unable to move without crying out. I go back to work on Monday and I'm a little nervous, but ready. I don't know how my dad has managed to sit around the house for 7 months due to his foot. I'm already bored and I've only been here a week! I just thought I'd update on my surgery and say I'm doing okay. I have to finish getting ready. We're going to Sam's Club to get stuff for my brother's graduation cookout this weekend.
Until next time...