anxiety

This is a busy time of year for a lot of people, and this time my family falls in that category. I'm talking about graduation. My brother is graduating from high school tomorrow. By that I mean the formal ceremony takes place tomorrow night. He finished high school in January by means of "early graduation." So tomorrow afternoon we are having a cook out to celebrate. All week we have been spending a lot of time together because he was supposed to leave for the Marine Corps boot camp this Sunday. Yesterday that changed. His departure date has been pushed back to next month, so he's got a little more time at home. Anyway, I think everyone in my family has been keeping too close quarters because I'm feeling a lot of tension in my house. We all need to be on mood stabilizers I think. This is the first time this summer that my anxiety has flared up, which is pretty good since I normally get it 2-3 times a week. I haven't had any anxiety issues since final exams. My dad is upset that my brother's departure date got pushed back because now Thomas doesn't have a job and he can't make his car payments. That's obviously not good, and the tension from that disappointment is spreading. My dad has been ugly with me all day and I can't stand to be here. I just want to go lay on my couch and watch TV. Instead I am upstairs in my hot room wondering what I can do to avoid any and all contact with him. Yes, I am trying to avoid contact unless absolutely necessary. Unfortunately I can't get out of the house because we are going to dinner together tonight for Thomas. So that means at least an hour of jolly fun...if you could see me rolling my eyes right now you'd know how much I'm NOT looking forward to this. That's the problem with my family. If we spend too much time together or if something happens that makes one of us upset we all get involved and things start to look grim. Usually stuff is between me and my parents or just me and my dad. Occasionally it's my dad and brother. This time I'm an innocent bystander who's unfortunately getting pulled into the negativity of my dad's disappointment. It sucks but what can I do? I'm just doing the best I can by avoiding him right now. Hopefully this will blow over in a few days because I don't know how much more of this I can take. At least I go back to work on Monday and that will get me out of the house until the evening. Then I guess I'll just read my book upstairs or something if things are still tense.
Congratulations Thomas! I know it's great to finish high school. I hope things are better for our cookout tomorrow.
Until next time...