sleepless in high point

Sorry for the ridiculously cliche title but it was necessary (haha). This is the first time I've written in so long because I haven't really had anything to say. I've been going through some really difficult times lately and I just haven't felt like blogging I guess. Have you ever been completely unable to sleep, even though you are really tired? Welcome to the way I've been coping for about a week now. I'm so sleepy and when I go to bed I can't get comfortable. I roll around all night long and finally end up sleeping okay just a few hours before I have to wake up for work. I have no idea what's causing this, but a good guess would be some anxiety, either subconscious or staring me right in the face. Up until yesterday I would say that it was subconscious for the most part. Once again I'm going through a hard time with Chris. I want so desperately to be friends with him but at the same time I can't find a way to let go/move on. No amount of medication or therapy or grieving is going to help me. I have to decide what to do for myself and when to do it and then actually carry through with it. I've already starting slipping. Yesterday I made the decision that we needed time apart. I feel myself starting to say "Oh, well I was just angry." I know I should be happy that I've done something good for myself but instead all I'm getting is the most intense explosion of anxiety I've ever experienced in my life. Thankfully I go back to my family doctor on Thursday and he will probably up my dosage of the anti-anxiety medicine. Hopefully then I'll get some relief. Until then, I am sleeplessly yours.