hello again

I know, I know...it's been forever. I just feel the urge to write today.

I just did the most difficult thing that I've ever had to do up until this point in my life. My boyfriend Daniel just moved back to Connecticut and I took him home. It was a nice vacation (it was excellent to have my first "vacation" since I started working for RL back in September 2010), but I'm home now and really sad.

I don't know how to make the empty feeling go away. I know Daniel and I have had a long distance relationship for the past year now (he lived an hour away), but for some reason this feels extremely different. I have this overwhelming anxiety because I don't know when I will see him again. I have wisdom tooth extraction next month and hopefully he will be able to come for that, but it's a slim chance. If I don't see him in July I probably won't see him until January. That is forever away and it scares me. I know we are strong and we will make it through this but I really miss him already. I want to be able to see him two times a week on my days off, but it's really impossible to take a trip to Connecticut to do that. It's hitting me really hard that we are apart now.

The good thing is that this has given me an opportunity to accomplish something amazing. It may not seem like a huge deal, but I just drove almost 12 hours by myself. I left Connecticut at around 10:30 am and made it home at 8:50 pm. I drove across the Tappan Zee Bridge and didn't have a panic attack, pulled off the highway in Pennsylvania for gas and didn't get lost, and used a rest area without incident. I've never driven that far alone before and I feel so proud of myself for getting through it. Now I keep telling myself that all I have to do is make it through the months without seeing Daniel and I will be fine. We have plans for me to move up North, hopefully by this time next year. That seems like a lot of time but when I think about how much money I need to save I get a little freaked out and overwhelmed. Not to mention I have to make arrangements for my adorable babies (my dogs, Grumpy and Daisy). I can't leave them behind and it is nearly impossible to find an apartment or rental home in CT that accepts dogs. Why a place would allow cats but not dogs is a mystery to me. I'm not a cat fan in the first place, but honestly they have a tendency to "spray" all over the place (I guess this equates to marking their territory). Also, the indoor cats cause odor problems with the litter box if the owner doesn't clean it out regularly. Sure, dogs have accidents, but I'm a responsible mommy and make sure that all messes are cleaned immediately. I guess it's just too much of a risk to allow a dog and have an irresponsible owner let the place go to crap. It just stinks that it will be that much harder to find a place with Daniel.

Another thing I have anxiety about is leaving home. I love Daniel and I very much want to live with him, but 12 hours away from the place I've lived all my life is daunting. I have to leave my family and the few friends I have behind. Also, I've never been up north during the winter (and we rarely have any horrible snow in NC), so I have no idea how to drive in the snow/ice/whatever else. Also, I'm sure it's really cold up there from about late October to probably early March (again, I'm not sure). I love cold weather and would welcome a change from sweltering, humid summers, but am I really ready for below 0 temps? Probably not. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.

If anyone has any suggestions about how to survive a long distance relationship, please comment. I need all the help I can get! I have to admit that I don't feel as horrible now as I did when I was trying to prepare myself for this day; but at the same time I still feel really empty inside. I'm hoping that this feeling will fade with time, and hopefully I'm blessed with a short waiting time for beginning my life with Daniel. We both know we want to work towards marriage but it just seems so out of reach at the moment. I hope this will get better!!!

I've rambled on enough, so I will end now. Hopefully I'll get around to writing here more often (I feel like I say that every time I sporadically come here), but we shall see. On a side note, I'm REALLY happy to have tomorrow off. Sundays are made for lying around the house, not working! :) Until next time everyone...

heaven, thy name is IKEA

Yesterday Chris and I wandered down to Charlotte to go to the most amazing home furnishings store I've ever seen: IKEA. I'm really glad that I don't have any money because if I did we would've loaded Chris's car up with a bunch of stuff! They have so many cute/interesting things that I would love to own. I did buy a small pink lamp that's for mood lighting. It's a little globe with a bulb inside, but the glass is pink and has hibiscus flowers etched onto it. It casts a soft pink glow and looks really pretty in my room. IKEA is huge. It has it's own road off of I-85. Inside, you start upstairs in the furniture showroom, which is beautiful. It has a bunch of different rooms with all the furniture and lighting and accessories labeled. You write down the numbers of the pieces you like and then go into the marketplace. Inside the marketplace are the small things like fixtures, kitchen accessories, bedding, lighting, etc. Then you go into the self-serve furniture place which looks like a huge Lowe's Home Improvement. Basically you grab the furniture you like for yourself and then you go pay. An interesting thing about IKEA is that they have two places for you to grub down while you visit. The first is the restaurant on the second floor. They have a few dishes like pasta, chicken fingers, and sandwiches. All range in price from about $1.99-$4.99. Downstairs after you check out there's a place to grab wraps or salads and also a place to get hot dogs. Chris and I shared the two hot dogs, chips, and a soda combo and it only put us out $2.50! That's another bonus to this wonderful place: IT'S CHEAP!!! I'm not talking about just the food. In the showroom they had whole rooms in which all the furniture was less than $2,000. It is really beautiful stuff and I'm sure it's well-made. Everything is imported from Sweden and none of it was overpriced. My little lamp was only $6.99 and the bulbs were $2.99 for a 2 pack. My mom was buying a similar bulb for my brother's desk lamp a few weeks ago at Wal-Mart and she had to pay $2.52 for just ONE. Unbelievable. If you ever find yourself in Charlotte, definitely visit IKEA. I know I'll be going back when I have some money, and I'll most certainly register myself there when I get married!

summer in Paris?

Really quickly before I go finish some case briefs for class...

I might be studying abroad in Paris this summer! How amazing would that be? I'm going to start filling out the application today probably, and trying to round up some professors who would give me an evaluation. It's approximately $7000 to go, but I'll try really hard to find that money. Studying abroad is an opportunity that would look great on my resume and application for law school as well as be a great experience for me. I'll only be gone from May 28-June 27 so it wouldn't be that big of a deal for me to go. I think I would have such a great time and it would definitely be a learning/growing experience for me.

I'll keep you guys posted on what will become of this. Now to go finish my homework!!