you're haunting me

I always try to have no regrets. Sometimes that doesn't work out in my favor at all. It's so easy to regret the past and mistakes you have made or things you have done that were less than stellar. It always seems that when you go through a rough breakup you sit and think about all the things that went wrong and how you can fix them. Sometimes this is possible, but most times it is not. So why worry about it? I keep telling myself that things will get better. Emotionally, I've been okay, up until last night when I found out my ex had started talking to his girlfriend prior to me. I guess they were in love, but I don't really know much about their relationship. It just bothers me that he would start talking to her again so soon after we went our separate ways. I guess the thing that bugs me most is that I can't control the situation. I have no say in what goes on in his life anymore. Not that I ever wanted to control every aspect of every thing we did together or make his decisions for him, but I could at least say "I don't like that." If we were dating still, I wouldn't have a problem with him talking to her. I trust him. I know that he'd never do anything to compromise our relationship like that. I suppose I'm bothered because I feel threatened. If we were to work something out, then I would feel like she could get in the way. Or maybe I feel like he'll stop talking to me because he wants her back, then he'll have the dream that I wanted. I wanted to marry him, you know. To live in that big house and have a little family, be happy everyday, and just love him. I don't want someone else to have him like that, but I have to confront these feelings so I can let go. That's what I need, is to let him go.