bridging the gap

I sometimes find it hard to understand some people...like why they do certain things even though they know it's going to upset other people in their lives. Why do they say such things to people they love? Why do they distance themselves from their friends? Why do they blame people who aren't at fault? It took me a long time to answer these questions about myself. I've grown an extraordinary amount since my high school years. College and a tumultuous relationship have taught me things that I could never have learned on my own, and for that I'm grateful. I was enlightened today when playing around on Facebook. One of my friends had written a note using Urban Dictionary to answer some questions about herself. Silly, I know, but it turned out to be an eye-opener for me. I was thinking about my boyfriend and I...we're currently not on speaking terms due to some things that have happened recently. We're trying to work it out. I just don't understand him sometimes. This note, however silly it may be, helped me to realize that he's just who he is. He does those things not because he's malicious or trying to hurt me or because he doesn't care. He's just that way. There's no changing it. No doubt, some maturation will come with age and more experience, but for the most part he's what he is and he'll always be that way. Anyway, back when I was in sixth grade I loved astrology. I obsessed over my horoscope and my friends and I would always be researching different facts about the zodiac signs. One of the questions on that note on Facebook was about the girl's zodiac sign, which happens to be Gemini, which also happens to be my boyfriend's sign. The definition is as follows:

Gemini is a sign that runs from May 21st to June 20th. Geminis are Creative, artistic, Nice, Intellectual, Individualistic, Outgoing and Compassionate. On the other hand they can also be inconsistent, nervous, nosy and lazy at times.
Gemini's Likes include:

-Talking
-Writing
-Adventure
-Variety in life

Their Dislikes include:

-Boring things
-Labor (such as school)
-Repitition; being in a rut
-Conformity
-Strict People

I see Chris in this description, and though I don't believe that the zodiac is a viable explanation for much of anything anymore, it certainly makes sense. It's funny how one little thing can tie in a past, present, and future so neatly. I mean, reading this definition of a Gemini even now creeps me out a little bit. It's like it was written for him. I'm just glad that the waters have turned clear and that I can begin to understand him a little more. The answer seems so obvious...people just are who they are. Why couldn't I see that before? I'm kind of disappointed in my lack of understanding. Maybe it is a good thing that we're taking this break. I knew it was already, but this affirmed my position and I'm really glad that things seem to be coming together better for me. Hopefully he'll see that within himself too.

Until next time...

before I die

You know how some people make lists of things to do before they die? Remember the movie The Bucket List? I've always wanted to make one of these. It started when I was a junior in high school and these two girls in my study hall both had huge lists of things they wanted to accomplish before they died. Theirs were pages and pages long and each day they'd go over their lists and cross things off that they had accomplished. I've tried to make a list before but when I sit down and review it, I always lose confidence and say, "That's really stupid," to myself. So far, this is what my list looks like:

1. Ride an elephant
2. Swim with the dolphins
3. Travel to Europe

Yeah, really short huh? I never really know what to put on my list, but those are the top three things that I definitely want to do. I might be doing #3 this summer if I'm accepted/can find the money to go to Paris for study abroad. Any suggestions on what I should put on there? I know it's personal but I'm sure there are a ton of awesome things to do out in the world that I'm not aware of!

Until next time...

rudeness

This is one of my greatest pet peeves, up there with being late (and if you know me, you know punctuality is necessary). Let me recount a few stories that happened to me just today that show how rude people can be. I'm just about tired of it, and there's no reason why I should have to put up with this anyway. The sad thing about it is, even though you may expose people's rudeness to them, they'll never change it. Anyway...

#1: This one has two parts. The RA on my hall is probably one of the most fake people I've ever met. If she's reading this right now, good. Aside from her usual weird/fake/extremely bubbly (in a bad way) behavior, she's done two things today to offend me. In the past her rudeness has been at bay, but took a head when she didn't wish me a happy birthday, even though she clearly knew it was my birthday AND she saw me in the hall, looked right at me, and said nothing. Alright, past that onto today, for real. The first time she was rude to me occurred this morning around 11:50 when I was exiting Greenlaw Hall. She almost ran into me, looked me in the eye, and didn't say a word of recognition. My smile went unrequited as well. Second time, I was walking to class this afternoon around 4:45 and she passed me on the road, also looking right at me, and said nothing. Why does she have a vendetta against me? I've done nothing to her. She's had something against our room (224) and all three of its occupants since the beginning of the year! She socializes with only a select few girls on the hall and ignores the rest of us. Thanks "Trecia"...that means a whole lot to me.

#2: Today I go down to the Cobb Community Office to inquire about a package for my roommate Emily. She went abroad to Paris this semester and someone sent her a package. Obviously if she's in Paris, she can't pick it up. I went down to see if there was any way that she could get someone to get it for her, seeing as she has two honest, capable roommates and her sister also goes to school here. The response I got was "Well, uh...you could have her send a forwarding address." To Paris? Really? Like Cobb is going to foot the bill to ship that package to Emily in Paris! Before I even asked the question while I was explaining the situation, the girl working the desk started shaking her head. I never asked if *I* could pick up the package. After that fiasco, I asked if misdirected mail was turned into the office. My W-2 was sent to my old address and I thought maybe the people would have turned it into the office. The girl told me there was nothing she could do for me. Couldn't she even look? Wow, thanks M. You see, M. lives a few rooms away from me and she's always got a sour look on her face. Her room is often so loud past quiet hours (and before) that neither me nor Lucy can get any work done. She's the least helpful office assistant I've ever encountered, and a really bad, inconsiderate hallmate.

So the point of this story? Try to be nicer to your fellow people...being rude doesn't get you anywhere and it gives you a bad rep. Interacting with rude people on a daily basis is really unpleasant for most of us. What do they see in being that way? I hope maybe the aforementioned people see this blog and think twice next time someone approaches them for whatever reason.

Until next time...

crappy weekend

I think I have a lot of these. Here's a run down, just so I can skip to the point.

Friday: I get picked up by my boyfriend, and it was fine. We missed each other. Toward the end of the night we get into an argument (surprise, surprise) and then we're pissed. He drops me off at the restaurant I'm meeting my friend David at, as planned. He gets better.

Saturday: Valentine's Day. I'm not being picked up by my boyfriend until 3:30. He's supposed to be preparing a super delicious meal for us. I scurry around my house trying to find dessert recipes. We're out of eggs. I make a mayonnaise cake with fudge icing and it takes forever. I get ready and he comes to get me. When I arrive back at his house, a pretty table is set up with rose petals and heart shaped candles. I get a lot of candy, a stuffed bear, and two pink roses. Dinner is not even started and I'm starving. I end up making everything but the steaks (I thought he was supposed to cook for me?). I don't mind helping, but the whole reason why he picked me up at 3:30 was so the food could be almost ready by the time I get there. That aside, we eat dinner, which was delicious, and then watch Mean Girls. At 10:00 he wants to take me home (wtf?)! I say okay because he agrees to come to my house at 10:30 the next morning so we can hang out. We get into a huge argument. There are tears. I get dropped off at David's dorm room, and a flurry of phone calls/texts, waterworks of tears, and 2 hours later, I go home and crash in my bed. By this time, my roses are dead, my eyes are swollen, and my feet hurt from the heels I wore. Perfect Valentine's Day turns into Worst Valentine's Day EVER.

Sunday (today): I'm sitting in my bed, miserable, not really wanting to do anything at all except sleep. He's not coming over today. Typical. He's avoiding my phone calls. Typical. I want to discuss our relationship and the obvious end it needs to come to, but he thinks I'm lying. Also typical. There's a woodpecker on the chimney outside of my bedroom window and it's annoying the crap out of me because every time I try to go to sleep, he starts banging into the wood. I'm pissed. Today's going to be awesome...right.

just a regular Thursday night

Tonight Lucy and I hung out and went to Nantucket for dinner...yummy. My diet didn't survive that one, but I'll get on track again tomorrow! Luckily, appetizers are half off on Thursdays so we both got the chicken tenders, making for a cheap and very good meal. Afterwards, we hit up Parizade for some drinks and fun.

While at the bar I realized that I have so much more fun when I don't have to worry about certain people who are in my life. I'm so relaxed and carefree. I can chat with people I don't know and have a great time. Rodney and Castillo are hilarious. Maybe it was the drinks or the free dessert, but whatever was the cause, I had a great time tonight. Hanging out with my girl Lucy is always so much fun. At the end of the night, I got a kiss from Rodney (lol, scandalous!) and a hug from Castillo. I hope more nights are like this one :).

Tomorrow I head back home to face the beast....not something I really want to do but it has to be done. Is it really time to cut the cord? We'll see. I love him, but sometimes it's better to just let go.

Until next time...

hanging up

How do I always end up taking the blame for something that isn't my fault? When did I become a doormat? If you hang up on me, I shouldn't have to apologize for your misunderstanding of the explanation I was giving. If you happen to get pissy in the middle of what I'm telling you, it isn't my fault that you misinterpreted the situation. My oratory skills only go so far. My mouth can't make your ears hear what they don't want to hear. But I do deserve the respect that I give you. I don't ever hang up on you, even if I don't like what you're saying. So the moral of the story is, take the blame upon your shoulders for your misunderstanding of everything, because I certainly can't understand for you.

summer in Paris?

Really quickly before I go finish some case briefs for class...

I might be studying abroad in Paris this summer! How amazing would that be? I'm going to start filling out the application today probably, and trying to round up some professors who would give me an evaluation. It's approximately $7000 to go, but I'll try really hard to find that money. Studying abroad is an opportunity that would look great on my resume and application for law school as well as be a great experience for me. I'll only be gone from May 28-June 27 so it wouldn't be that big of a deal for me to go. I think I would have such a great time and it would definitely be a learning/growing experience for me.

I'll keep you guys posted on what will become of this. Now to go finish my homework!!