bridging the gap

I sometimes find it hard to understand some people...like why they do certain things even though they know it's going to upset other people in their lives. Why do they say such things to people they love? Why do they distance themselves from their friends? Why do they blame people who aren't at fault? It took me a long time to answer these questions about myself. I've grown an extraordinary amount since my high school years. College and a tumultuous relationship have taught me things that I could never have learned on my own, and for that I'm grateful. I was enlightened today when playing around on Facebook. One of my friends had written a note using Urban Dictionary to answer some questions about herself. Silly, I know, but it turned out to be an eye-opener for me. I was thinking about my boyfriend and I...we're currently not on speaking terms due to some things that have happened recently. We're trying to work it out. I just don't understand him sometimes. This note, however silly it may be, helped me to realize that he's just who he is. He does those things not because he's malicious or trying to hurt me or because he doesn't care. He's just that way. There's no changing it. No doubt, some maturation will come with age and more experience, but for the most part he's what he is and he'll always be that way. Anyway, back when I was in sixth grade I loved astrology. I obsessed over my horoscope and my friends and I would always be researching different facts about the zodiac signs. One of the questions on that note on Facebook was about the girl's zodiac sign, which happens to be Gemini, which also happens to be my boyfriend's sign. The definition is as follows:

Gemini is a sign that runs from May 21st to June 20th. Geminis are Creative, artistic, Nice, Intellectual, Individualistic, Outgoing and Compassionate. On the other hand they can also be inconsistent, nervous, nosy and lazy at times.
Gemini's Likes include:

-Talking
-Writing
-Adventure
-Variety in life

Their Dislikes include:

-Boring things
-Labor (such as school)
-Repitition; being in a rut
-Conformity
-Strict People

I see Chris in this description, and though I don't believe that the zodiac is a viable explanation for much of anything anymore, it certainly makes sense. It's funny how one little thing can tie in a past, present, and future so neatly. I mean, reading this definition of a Gemini even now creeps me out a little bit. It's like it was written for him. I'm just glad that the waters have turned clear and that I can begin to understand him a little more. The answer seems so obvious...people just are who they are. Why couldn't I see that before? I'm kind of disappointed in my lack of understanding. Maybe it is a good thing that we're taking this break. I knew it was already, but this affirmed my position and I'm really glad that things seem to be coming together better for me. Hopefully he'll see that within himself too.

Until next time...