remembering the past

Getting married is something that I really want to do. I have no idea when or where that will happen, but if I had it my way I'd be tying the knot in about 3 or 4 years. When I think back on the early stages of my relationship with Chris I can't imagine ever finding a love like that again. We've made several attempts to resurrect some semblance of those feelings but it hasn't ever worked. We're just friends now, which is better for us because there's not so much pressure and we don't have to be "other people." However, I miss those crazy feelings and the thoughts of forever that we used to have. There was a time when I knew I wanted to marry him, to spend the rest of my days with Chris in a state of eternal bliss. Now I have no idea if someone that great will ever come along again. People say it's a once in a lifetime feeling that you get when you know someone is "the one." I thought he was, but apparently he's not, and I know I'm definitely not "the one" for him. When one sits and thinks about the past one of two things can happen. You can either be happy that you had those moments and be content with living with the memories, or you can get really sad and miss those days and wish that things would've been different. Regrets usually follow the latter of the two paths. I'm trying to make myself love the memories and know that it's not right for me to be with him. Most days I'm okay with that but there are some days when my wandering mind says otherwise. In the early stages of learning how to be single again your life can be rather difficult. Until I'm completely okay with everything I just want to lay low. I definitely don't want to make a fool of myself and ruin a friendship over these lingering feelings. Being friends with an ex can be hard but I've managed to make it work in the past. All I have to do now is rid myself of this baggage and move on completely. A little help would be nice.
Until next time...