It's funny how you can be having the time of your life and suddenly think of a really terrible situation. I'm not saying that this has happened to me recently, but lately I've just been thinking about things. Earlier this year I went through a brief period of high anxiety about death and/or dying. It's not so much my death that I'm worried about, but the deaths of those who I love. On my way back from dinner tonight, I was just laughing and all of a sudden a thought crept into my head "Death is so terrible. I mean, why does it have to exist?" Chris said to me, "What would the point of life be if there was no death?" I guess he's right, but it's such a painful time for all and I don't know why anyone should be expected to go through it. I haven't been extraordinarily sad about someone dying in a long time, but I've seen both of my parents go through it and it scares me. What are you supposed to say to someone who is grieving over a loved one? There aren't any right things to say. Nothing that you can say will make them feel any better about the situation, but you can't just leave them alone all the time either. It's a delicate balance. Is it normal for someone my age to constantly think about the inevitable death that everyone must face? Sometimes I feel like I just can't live and enjoy life anymore because this darkness is always overshadowing it. Would it be better if we were ignorant to our ultimate fate? Ignorance is bliss, after all. But seriously, I don't think anyone I know thinks about death as much as I do. It's a constant worry of mine and I just don't think it's normal. Especially since it gets in the way of me having fun sometimes. I don't know...how much of this is appropriate for me to reveal on the internet? Luckily (or unluckily) enough, I have an eight page paper due on Monday that I need to work on.
Hope everyone's having a great night.
PS- I didn't make it to Bandidos this weekend, perhaps another time :)
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