can't sleep

Can you dehydrate from crying?
I thought if I apologized then everything would work out.
I've had a lot on my mind for the past 3 hours, making for a very rough night. I can't think of anything else but him. Will he ever get out of my mind? It's not looking good. I shouldn't be awake, typing a blog at this hour on a Sunday morning. It isn't right.
We had a good hour-long phone conversation about 30 minutes ago. He's so sweet and caring and understanding, but he just wants to be friends. Is that possible? Will I ever get over this? All I can think about is what comes next? Where will this go? Will I be this miserable forever? Prozac is starting to look awesome right about now. Perhaps I'll see about a prescription.
I know the night is darkest before the dawn...
Now the question is, will the dawn ever come?

hindsight

Have you ever wished that you could know how exactly things will pan out for you in the future? Sometimes I can't help but to wish I knew what was in store for me.
Take this example:
I allowed myself to become so close to someone that I couldn't imagine life without him. Things got bad, so I took a step back and a few deep breaths and started to restructure my thinking. Today, the end came. My little diorama of happiness was smashed, and my world opened up to a new life that I didn't want to accept. I've been here before, and let me tell you, it's the worst feeling in the world. Loneliness is oppressive, like a wet blanket. Sure, I have friends and family who still care about me, but it's not the same. It isn't like being in love. Relationships come and go, but the ones that truly hurt are those in which a future is possible. I've never loved someone so much, with the entirety of my body and soul, like I loved him. Never. I really thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him and that's why my heart can't stop breaking. It seems like the shards of pain are endless. I tried so hard, yet I blame myself for not letting it work. Why did I have to say those things? Why did I do what I did in that situation? If I knew that the end was coming, would I have acted differently? It's all in hindsight, which is definitely 20/20. But I still want to put all of the blame on myself for some reason, even though I know it isn't all my fault. Like I said, it's really different when you think you've found your soul mate.
I'm in a daze and I can't step out. It's destructive for me to be left alone with my thoughts. It seems that everyone else is happy and I'm in a bubble, watching them, shut off from the rest of the world. I'm forced to watch people smile, laugh, hold hands, kiss, say "I love you," and snuggle up together. All I have left is darkness. A void. An endless emptiness that can't be filled.
I know I'll get over it eventually, but it's just so hard. I have to readjust to living life alone. He's not here to hold my hand in the car and pet my hair, or to tell me cute things and give me one of those tight hugs I miss so dearly. Tears are stinging my already sore eyes, yet they won't stop coming. I'm going to look a mess tomorrow, but for once I don't care. I don't care what comes next if he's not here with me. I miss him. I love him. I need him. But he's not mine anymore.
So, does God sit in Heaven in front of his big planner and write "Break Up" on a certain day? Does He sit back and watch people suffer? I've always felt that He had a calendar on which He planned events in peoples' lives. He knew this was coming, and He didn't warn me. No use in being angry with God...He didn't cause this. It's just that sometimes I really wish that I could know everything, but how boring life would be if that were the case. I try to have no regrets, but I'm filled with so many right now.
Will I ever love so deeply again?
Only time will tell.

I'm back!

So it really has been a long time since I posted! I don't know how that happened. Not that much has been going on lately. Since I left school I've started working over my break, and that's what I'll be doing until I go back to school in January. I'm an intern for Argus Insurance (part of High Point Bank, where I work as a teller during the summer). I take over the switchboard sometimes, but this year I'm mainly scanning files. On Monday and Tuesday, I had to load up all of the customer files from the document vault and bring them into the insurance office. That was a lot of work, and I definitely got a work out from doing it, complete with sweaty hair. I really looked like I had been to the gym, which is not a nice picture. Any who, after I did all of that manual labor, I started to scan the files. I have to go through and pick out all of the pertinent information, then load it into a scanner someone referred to as a "dinosaur" and then upload it to the insurance program so the agents can see the applications, etc online. Then, it's off to the shred bin for the (sometimes) ancient files. It's a pretty chill job. I sit at my desk all day and do my stuff. No one bothers me, and I just get up and go when it's time for lunch or a break, or the end of the day. It's kind of boring at times because the scanner is so slow. On Monday I'm moving to a different desk so I'll have a high speed scanner, at least in the morning. In the afternoon I have no idea where I'll be sitting, so it really is up in the air right now. I hate having to readjust after being shuffled around, but I'm sure it won't be too bad.

I'm off to do my dad's Christmas shopping in a few hours, so wish me luck. Crowds are probably one of my least favorite things ever. I hope I don't get too flustered today.

why, hello there!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been busy studying for exams, going to appointments, and generally chilling/wasting time on Neopets! Thankfully, exams are almost over. I only have two more, unless you count my weather journal and paper revision, then it's three. Oh well, not too much longer and I'll be back at home for a whole month!

I won't get to use the month for relaxing though. I'm working full time from December 15-January 9. I go home on December 12 and go back to class on January 12, so yeah...I won't really have a break but I need the money. I guess it's okay that I won't have a lot of time to rest, but at least I won't have to worry about going majorly broke. Always look for a positive, that's what I tell myself.

So I got my results from my blood work last week, and apparently my insulin is high. This could be due to polycystic ovarian syndrome, or it could be a problem with my thyroid. In any case, I have to go to an endocrinologist to have him analyze my labs and tell me how I'm going to be treated. I don't know when that appointment is, but I'll definitely post about it afterward.

Just thought I'd post a quick update. Now it's back to wasting time online! Tomorrow I will do my work, promise!

waiting...

I've never been a really patient person and waiting is something I absolutely hate. Whether it be in line at the grocery store or sitting on my couch until a friend arrives to pick me up, I absolutely detest it. I was eating dinner this weekend and the coaster under my cup said "Hurry up and wait." This describes my life when it comes to certain people who are in it. I'm constantly in a rush to get ready and look my best, or just to be on time. I pride myself in being an extremely timely person, and if I'm late it's usually not more than five minutes. This is why I hate being at the hands of others when it comes to arriving on time. I don't trust some people to get me where I need to be at the correct time, so if I have to rely on myself I'm much better at coordinating my plans. This is what I prefer. I guess you could call me a "Type A" person.

So you ask, where is this all coming from?
I'm still waiting on that call from my doctor about the blood work. This isn't an extremely pressing issue, but I'd still like to know what they found. The results are only a tiny bit of the inspiration for this blog, though.

Take this weekend, possibly the crappiest one I've had in awhile. I go through the same routine every time I'm home. I tell my boyfriend to be over at my house at a specific time, so I wake up about an hour before hand to get ready. It only takes me about 35-40 minutes to get showered, made up, coiffed, and dressed so I have about twenty minutes of wait time. He's usually really good about being on time but this weekend was a disaster. On Saturday he showed up forty five minutes late. On Sunday, he didn't show up at all. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. As I've hinted at earlier in this entry, lateness is one of my biggest pet peeves. I used to give someone ten minutes of being late before I actually considered them to be late (I guess you could call this a "buffer period"), but after constant abuse of this generous system I decided to call it off. Both my ex and my current boyfriend have repeatedly decided that since they weren't technically late until ten minutes after the planned time that they wouldn't show up on time. Anyways, it makes the situation better if I get a call beforehand saying how late they are going to be. Chris is really bad about this now when he used to be very diligent about letting me know when he was going to arrive.

Griping aside, I just think it's rude to be late and not notify the person you are meeting up with. True, you may have all day to carouse around town but if we agree on a meeting time then please be there. I hate waiting. I hate being late myself and when I rush to be on time for someone else it's just common courtesy for them to show me the same respect by being on time or at least letting me know their ETA.

And by the way, my impatience has improved with time. I'm much more patient now than I was when I was younger...there used to be a time when I couldn't even sit still for more than five minutes and got extremely irritable when I couldn't do something RIGHT NOW!!!! ;)

Happy Waiting.

rise above this

I have always loved Seether's song "Rise Above This" because it has a really nice sound but at the same time it's got a great message. It's about overcoming obstacles in your life and remaining strong. Shaun Morgan (lead singer) dedicated it to his brother Eugene because he committed suicide as a result of depression. The whole video is really touching and sweet and at the end it has the Suicide Hotline number so people who are battling with this horrible pain can get some support.

I highly recommend the video, and the song is one of Seether's more alternative rock selections instead of the heavier things they've done in the past. Anyway, here's the link if you're interested:
Rise Above This Video

Seeing Seether perform this song live in Charlotte on October 6, 2008 was one of the greatest moments of my life. Now that I've had that experience under my belt, I'm able to appreciate the song a whole lot more. But today, it took a whole different meaning for me. I was driving back from my doctor's appointment and it came on the radio:

I'll mend myself before it gets me
I'm falling down, but I'll rise above this, rise above this

These lyrics really touched me seeing as today I found out that I might have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). I knew this could be a possibility, but my previous doctor had never mentioned it. Thankfully, she left and I switched to another doctor who is way more proactive (not to mention caring and charismatic). He wanted to find the root of my problem, so he decided to do blood work and find out if I really do have PCOS. If I do, I'll have to be on a strict diet, birth control pills, and a diabetes medication. I'll lose about 2-4 pounds a month, but I'll be getting this disease under control.

Anyways back to the song. It really touched me because I felt like I connected with the lyrics. I'm not going to let this get to me. I'm going to get it under control. No, it's not as serious as cancer but it's still a problem that I have to deal with. It's me who's in control. I'm going to rise above my fear and not going to let this get to me. I was at a really low point today when I had to get the blood work done because for one, I'm scared of needles. I think the deeper issue was my worry about what was going on with my body and what I am going to have to do in the future. So anyway, I got to thinking and all I can think about is how I'm going to be okay and that it's something treatable. The doctor even assured me that I could get pregnant in the future (not something I'm even thinking about right now), and that took a huge weight off of my shoulders because I've always heard that women with PCOS either can't get pregnant or they have a lot of trouble conceiving. Either way, the doctor told me that I would be okay with this medication and I trust him, I'm in good hands.

To the DJ on 106.5, thank you so much for playing Rise Above This at the right time. I needed it much more than anyone could understand. It helped to pull me out of my melancholy and served as a reminder that I can do this, and in the end it's going to be okay.

domestication

Earlier I was washing my dishes and I was thinking about how domesticated I've become. I know it's pretty typical for women to have to learn how to keep up the house, but it makes me wonder why the guys out there don't have to do more things around the house. I know some guys know how to do the basics, such as dishes and sweeping, occasionally vacuuming too. But seriously, they have to live as bachelors or go to college at some point, so why do their mothers at an early age not urge them to learn chores? I'm talking about laundry, dusting, mopping, bathroom detail, etc. I learned how to do all of these things fairly early, and my brother had to help but he always got the easier tasks like taking out the garbage or sorting the recycling. Why? Because my mom felt as though he couldn't clean to her standards and that he "couldn't do it right." Eventually she taught him how to clean the bathroom or turn on the washer/dryer, but that wasn't until years after I had been doing these things pretty regularly. It's interesting how girls are expected to learn how to do these things but boys aren't until much later (if ever). I realize I'm making a huge generalization here but I'm just working off of experience. Are we in "Future Wives Training" from the first time we pick up a broom?

I don't mind doing domestic duties; in fact, I actually enjoy them when the mood strikes me. I know I'll never be one of those mothers who wears jeans and a T-shirt and constantly smells of spoiled milk, peanut butter, and diapers, but I'm looking forward to being able to take care of my house and my babies. I really want to keep a clean house and proper children. If I have a boy I might even train him how to do some of the "girl" chores around the house, but as much as I've complained about my brother not knowing how to do these things, I think my mom was partially right about him not being able to do it to her standards. For example, my current boyfriend tries so hard to wash the dishes to my standards but he is terribly slow at it. I'm glad he's trying but if I let him take charge we'd be at the sink for two hours (no lie). Maybe it's something in boys that makes them naturally better at mowing the lawn or taking the trash out, who knows? All I know is that it's nice to have some help around the house. Boys, take note! A girl loves a man who knows how to clean (or is at least willing to help).

break

I am SO ready for a break. I can't stress this enough. School gets to a body sometimes, even if you don't do nearly as much work as you did at the beginning of the semester. Sometimes with the end so close it seems like it'll never come. Right now it's Sunday night and I have to wait until Tuesday at 1:45 before I'm done with class. Then I get to go through the mess of getting my car, packing it up, and driving home on traffic-jammed I-40. I'm predicting it will probably take about an hour and a half to get home...hopefully the traffic won't be too bad though.

I also hate how teachers love to assign lots of papers, tests, and projects at the end of the semester. December 3 is my last day of class, and before then I have two papers due, one of which I'm currently working on (2/8 pages! yes!). I'm not nearly as stressed out as some people are, but with finals creeping up I think I could start getting that way. Also, I have to call about a job tomorrow so I hope I have one when I arrive home for Christmas break. I really need that money! I'll be working from December 15 until January 2, which is all of Christmas break except for one week before I return to start the spring semester. Let's hope this all pans out in the end.

Okay, enough of a break! I HAVE GOT to finish this paper!!! I won't let it get the best of me.

Ciao!

lonely Saturday night

It's funny how you can be having the time of your life and suddenly think of a really terrible situation. I'm not saying that this has happened to me recently, but lately I've just been thinking about things. Earlier this year I went through a brief period of high anxiety about death and/or dying. It's not so much my death that I'm worried about, but the deaths of those who I love. On my way back from dinner tonight, I was just laughing and all of a sudden a thought crept into my head "Death is so terrible. I mean, why does it have to exist?" Chris said to me, "What would the point of life be if there was no death?" I guess he's right, but it's such a painful time for all and I don't know why anyone should be expected to go through it. I haven't been extraordinarily sad about someone dying in a long time, but I've seen both of my parents go through it and it scares me. What are you supposed to say to someone who is grieving over a loved one? There aren't any right things to say. Nothing that you can say will make them feel any better about the situation, but you can't just leave them alone all the time either. It's a delicate balance. Is it normal for someone my age to constantly think about the inevitable death that everyone must face? Sometimes I feel like I just can't live and enjoy life anymore because this darkness is always overshadowing it. Would it be better if we were ignorant to our ultimate fate? Ignorance is bliss, after all. But seriously, I don't think anyone I know thinks about death as much as I do. It's a constant worry of mine and I just don't think it's normal. Especially since it gets in the way of me having fun sometimes. I don't know...how much of this is appropriate for me to reveal on the internet? Luckily (or unluckily) enough, I have an eight page paper due on Monday that I need to work on.

Hope everyone's having a great night.

PS- I didn't make it to Bandidos this weekend, perhaps another time :)

el gigante

I'd like to take a moment to make a shameless plug:

Read The Biscuit

Go to this blog, especially if you're joining in from the Chapel Hill area. It's all about food in Chapel Hill and it's well written and interesting. I got this link from the owner of the blog, who just happens to be one of my Nature Writing classmates! It's awesome.

Basically all I did yesterday afternoon was to page through the blog. Upon doing so, I found a couple of posts mentioning the conquering of a "six pound burrito." Come to find out, this legendary burrito is available at a Mexican restaurant on Franklin Street called Bandidos. It's in a sketchy-looking alley where The Ramshead Rathskeller used to be, but location aside I've heard that it's really good. Over the weekend I might try to convince Chris to eat El Gigante!! I think he could do it, seeing as he is a human food vacuum. He'd have it down with no problem. The only thing is, I don't happen to have a bottle of Beano in the room, lol!

So, you may ask, what is in this six pound burrito? After watching a video about the fate of a group of guys trying to conquer El Gigante, I found out that it is "filled with the works: black beans, Spanish rice, onions, tomatoes, cheese, salsa verde, steak & chicken fajitas with grilled onions and bell peppers. Topped with salsa roja, more cheese, lettuce, tomato, sour cream, and guacamole." That sounds like a straight up gut ringer! If we do indeed venture to Bandidos, I'll make sure to post about it. Thanks Biscuit for the inspiration!

it's cold!

Aren't you proud that I resisted the urge to write the title in perhaps one of the most annoying cliches ever? You know, the dreaded, "Baby, it's cold outside!" Yeah, me too!

I'm really not sure what to talk about today...not much has gone on. The only thing that immediately comes to mind is how cold it is outside. I'm not complaining because I love winter and cold weather, even though it forces you to bundle up to the max and causes dry hands and chapped lips. I think I'm able to better appreciate the world's beauty when it's cold. I'm not bummed out because I'm so hot that all I want to do is jump into a pool or hang out in the AC. To the contrary, I feel like I see better in the cold. I don't mean my vision jumps from less than perfect to 20/20 because of the weather. What I mean is that when I'm outside I notice how pretty it is. The sky is a crisper blue, the leaves on the ground seem vibrant in their dying colors of reds, yellows, and oranges, and the crunch of pine cones and the scratch of leaves and pine needles on the brick sidewalks make music. Have you ever noticed the smell of dead leaves? It's not unappetizing in the least. It's the smell of fall; that crisp, unmistakable smell you get when you step into a chilly, overcast day in the middle of October. Autumn is always a sensual orchestra which tantalizes all five senses and makes one feel warm deep inside, even if the air blowing against your face isn't so nice.

Winter on the other hand is my favorite season. Cold air smells so nice and I love snuggling up to my boyfriend on a chilly evening. Coats are also one of my favorite things to wear, along with scarves and long sleeves. I can't wear these things at any other time of the year. Also, Christmas is in the winter, and that's my favorite holiday. My birthday falls in January and Valentine's Day comes in February. These days highlight the season with which I am in love. You can't forget snow either. I haven't seen much snow in my lifetime, but I start to get excited when I see the tiny white flakes falling from the gray sky. In fact, it snowed for a little here yesterday but I didn't get to see it. According one of my roommates, it only lasted for five minutes. Oh well, hopefully it'll be a favorable winter for snow this season. I can't wait for it to get here!

With that said, I should go labor over my eight-page Shakespeare paper. I really don't want to be working on it over the weekend so...here's to you, Willy.

long survey

Lucy has been begging me to do this survey, so here it is. I started at 2:11 PM and finished at 4:06 PM. Pretty much anything you would want to know about me is on here...

What time is it? 2:11 PM
Name: Sarah Murray
Nicknames: Sarah-Belle, but only my family can call me that
Birthday: January 22, 1988
Zodiac: Aquarius
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Shoe Size: 10
Height: 5’5”
Eye color: Blue/green
Hair color: Naturally, it’s strawberry blonde but I recently dyed it Chestnut
School Mascot/Colors: Rameses…or a big foot (Tar Heels)/Carolina blue and white
Grade: College Junior
Pets: Norm, my greyhound and Cuddles, my hamster
Siblings: a brother, Thomas
What languages do you speak? English, and fragments of Spanish and French
Where were you born? High Point, NC
Where do you want to go to college? Already here! I go to UNC
What do you want to be when you grow up? A lawyer
What was the worst day of your life? The day I ran over a curb and ripped off my bumper
What has been the best day of your life? Finding out I was accepted to UNC

[CURRENT]

taste: tortilla chips
clothes: a blue Henley and jeans
hair: down, windblown
annoyance: lack of tasty lunch food in the room
longing: for Christmas break to get here
desktop background: pink with white polka dots
worry: money

[FAVORITE]

movie: pretty much anything starring Al Pacino
song: Yellow by Coldplay
band/group: Thursday
clothes store: Old Navy…probably.
article of clothing: shoes!
relative: my mom, dad, and brother

sports: basketball and occasionally football
vacation spot: beach!
ice cream flavor: chocolate
fruit: strawberries, honeydew, cantaloupe, watermelon
candy: Reese’s miniatures
car: BMWs, or Chris’s blue Z
class: English 355: English Novel 1870-WWII
holiday: Christmas
place to be: at home
day of the week: Saturday
color: really depends, but I love pink, purple, blue, and green
season: Winter
kind of tree: crepe myrtle
magazine: Cosmo!
book: Gossip Girl
word: cellar door (Donnie Darko)
food: probably stuffed shells (a variant on lasagna)
animals: dog!
girls name: Ashley, Molly, Emma
guys name: Charlie, Atticus, Zachary

[IN THE PAST 48HRS, HAVE YOU...]

danced? Last night in my chair to some Missy Elliott
had a serious talk? yes
hugged someone? yes
fought with a friend? no
cried? no
laughed? yes
made someone laugh? yes
bought something? no
cut your hair? no
felt stupid? Not really
talked to someone? yes
missed someone? yes
gotten sick? no
sang? yes
said 'i love you'? yes
wanted to tell someone you liked them? He already knows
met someone new? no
moved on? Nothing to move on from
yelled at someone? no
dreamed about someone you can't be with? no

[HAVE YOU EVER...]

Had a hangover? Kind of

Done drugs? Just the Herb…but that’s not a drug.
eaten an entire box of oreos? nearly
been dumped? Yep
had someone be unfaithful to you? Unfortunately
watched Punky Brewster? no
hiked a mountain? Not exactly hiked, but walked on one
stayed home on saturday night, just because? yes
been in love? yes
seen the white house?
Yes seen the Eiffel Tower? Not yet
tried smoking? yep
had alcohol? yes
smoked marijuana? Yes
played Monopoly? Yeeees….
seen Titanic? Yes
kissed someone? mmhmm
French kissed someone? yes
tried a weight loss program? No but I’ve been on a diet
jumped on a trampoline? Yes, I miss it
visited another country? No
colored in a coloring book (and had fun)? Yes
had a bubble bath? yes
been on a plane? yes
been on a boat? yes
been on a train? yes
been in a car accident? Not one when I was driving
ridden an elephant? It’s on my list of things to do before I die
been to New York? I LOVE NY!
been to Florida? Yes…Miami!
been to California? Most amazing trip ever!!! San Francisco!
been to Hawaii? No, but hopefully for my honeymoon
been to Mexico? No
been to China? no
made a web page? Yep, back in the day I was really good at it
played with Barbies? Yeah, they were my favorite pastime for years
stayed up all night? A few times
shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean? You know it!
broken a bone? Not exactly…almost fractured the growth plate in my ankle playing basketball
called a psychic or sex hotline? Haha no way!
watched Jerry Springer? Embarrassingly, yes.

gotten in trouble for talking in class? Only twice in my life :-[
been afraid of the dark? Probably

been in the hospital (not visiting)? Only when I was a baby
had stitches? Yep, in my gums after my gum grafting surgery…ick.
dumped someone and regretted it? nope
went out with more than one person at a time? yes
lied? Who hasn’t?
broken the law? Yes
been arrested? No
fallen asleep in class? I’ve gotten pretty damn close
used food for something other than to eat? O:) yeeees…
met a celebrity? I’ve been really close to a lot of them, but never “met” them
ever loved someone so much it made you cry? yes
hated yourself? yes
been brokenhearted? yes
broken someone's heart? yes
said "I love you"? of course
gotten in a fight with your pet(s)? I can’t recall a time when that’s ever happened
dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day? Never
given anyone a bath? My brother and my cousin when they were babies
bungee jumped? No!
made yourself throw up? no
skinny dipped? no
made yourself cry to get out of trouble? No
pictured your crush naked? Of course
actually seen your crush naked? Hehe :)
fallen for your best friend? One time
been rejected? yes
rejected someone? yes
used someone? yes
done something you regret? No regrets.

[DO YOU...]

cry? rarely
like to give hugs? usually
like to walk in the rain? Ewww…no.
sleep with or without clothes on? With (clothes being pajamas)
prefer black or blue pens? blue
dress up on Halloween? I was a princess!
have a job? Not currently
like to travel? Yes and I wish I could do it more often
like someone? A whole lot
sleep on your side, tummy or back? Side and tummy…never back.
think you're attractive? sometimes
want to marry? yes
want kids? Ehhh…I think so. But if so, only one.
have a goldfish? no
ever have the falling dream? Yeah and I always wake up with a start
have stuffed animals? Oh yeah
go on vacation? I like to try once per summer and sometimes on breaks
have a crush on someone? Yes, and he’s my boyfriend =)
believe in an afterlife? Yes
have a "type" of person you always go for? Not at all.
want someone you don't have? Nope, I have everything I need
like being around people? sometimes
believe in God? yes
go to church? Not at the moment
play sports? No
ever sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you? No way
wish you were a member of the opposite sex? Not in a million years
wish you were younger: Sometimes

[ARE YOU...]

understanding: most of the time
open-minded: yes
arrogant: no
insecure: sometimes
interesting: I try to be
hungry: not right now
smart: in English
moody: extremely
hardworking: for the most part
organized: yes
healthy: I don’t have any diseases but I don’t eat healthy
bored easily: yes
responsible: yes
obsessed: haha sometimes
angry: 3 days out of the 7
sad: sometimes
disappointed: that’s a feeling I don’t usually get
hyper: no
trusting: no
talkative: with close friends/family. It takes me a long time to warm up to new people
timely or always late: timely
for world peace: if that can be accomplished
a health freak?: hell no!
lonely right now: no
a night or a morning person? Night for sure
ticklish? yes
ever afraid you'll never get married: Nope

[WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...]

gun control: we have a right to bear arms, but that doesn’t mean that anyone should be able to get a gun
abortion: I would never have one, but it’s not up to me what someone else wants to do with their body
Bill Clinton: adulterer
smoking: not for me
eating disorders: dangerous
rape: disgusting and deadly
south park: Hate it
summer: it’s way too hot, but I love to swim
tattoos: they can be pretty cool
piercings: I have a few.
make-up: love it…if you know how to use it without looking like a clown/ho-bag
drinking: it’s fun but you have to be careful with it

[THIS OR THAT]

pierced nose or lip? Lip
serious or funny?: funny
single or taken?: taken
simple or complicated?: simple
sweet or silly?: sweet
tall or short?: tall
law or anarchy?: law
mtv or vh1?: mTV
7th heaven or dawsons creek?: 7^th Heaven
sugar or salt?: sugar
silver or gold?: silver
tongue or belly button ring?: belly button
chocolate or flowers?: chocolate
angels or miracles?: angels
color or black-and-white photos?: black-and-white
sunrise or sunset?: sunset
m&ms or skittles?: m&ms
rap or rock?: Rap to dance to, rock to sing to
stay up late or sleep in?: stay up late
tv or radio?: TV
hot or cold: cold
sun or moon?: moon
diamond or ruby: diamond
left or right?: right
10 acquaintances or 1 best friend?: 1 best friend
vanilla or chocolate?: chocolate
cat or dog?: dog
half-empty or half-full?: half-full
mustard or ketchup?: ketchup
newspaper or magazine?: magazine
spring or fall?: fall
give or receive?: give
rain or snow?: snow
lace or satin?: satin
happy or sad?: happy
corduroy or plaid?: plaid
wonder or amazement?: amazement
sneakers or sandals?: sneakers (Converse!)
McDonald’s or Burger King?: McDonald’s
blondes or brunettes?: either
Mexican or Italian food? Italian
lights on or off?: off at night, on during the day
duct tape or scotch tape?: scotch
candy or soda?: candy
Pepsi or Coke? Either
Nike or Adidas?: Adidas
northern or southern?: southern
conservative or liberal? Both = moderate

[GIRL KNOWLEDGE]

Do you know exactly where the blush goes? The apples of the cheeks
Would you say you know how to put on make up? Yes
Do you know how to French braid hair? I know what it’s suppose to look like
Do you have a specific color of cover up or foundation you wear for your skin? I don’t wear foundation/cover up
Do you wash your face at least once a day? Yes
Do you use an eyelash curler? no
How many colors of eye shadow do you own? 8 but I only use three
Do you use water proof mascara? No, it’s too hard to get off
How much do you pay for make up? Probably about $10 every 3 months
Does toothpaste really help acne? Never tried it
How many times a day do you apply lip gloss/stick? I don’t wear lipstick or gloss

[THE PERFECT GUY]

Hair color: brown and curly
Eye color: blue/green
Height: 6’3”
Six pack: doesn’t matter
Long hair or short: shorter
Glasses? On occasion
Piercings? NO
Eyebrows? Clean
Buff or skinny? average
Teeth? White and straight
Funny or serious? Funny, but has to be serious when the time’s right
Party-hopper or more stay-at-home? Stay at home
Should he be able to bake or cook? Definitely cook, I’ve got the baking down!
Does he have a best friend? Yes
Is it okay for him to have a lot of female friends? No
Out-going or shy? Out-going
Sarcastic or sincere? Sincere, can be sarcastic in a joking way
Does he love his mother? Absolutely
Should he watch chick-flicks? Sometimes, but I usually hate chick flicks so it’s not a big deal
Would he be a smoker? No
How about a drinker? On occasion
And swearing? Not so much
Would he play with your hair? Sometimes
Would he have more than one girlfriend at a time? Uhhh…no.
Would he pay for you when you're on a date? Yes but not 100% of the time
Does he kiss on the first date? He did J
Where would you go for dinner? Probably Red Robin lol
Would he buy you flowers? He has J
Would he lay under the stars with you and spout random philosophies? Laying under the stars, sure.
Would he write poetry about you? Probably not
Would he hang out with you and YOUR friends? He does
How about you hanging out with him and HIS friends? Sure
Would he walk you up to the door at the end of the evening? Every night
Would you hold hands? Yes
Does he play soccer? No
Baseball? No
Football? No
Basketball? No
Water polo? No
Golf or something equally boring? No
Does he surf? No
Skateboard? No
Snowboard? Maybe if he learned

Can he sing? Some songs
Play the guitar? I think he said he could
Play piano? No
Play the drums? No
Can he keep his room clean? We’re working on that
Is he an artist of sorts? With computers J
Does he write his own music? I guess he could if he wanted to
Does he have pets? We have a hamster
Does he use the word dude? Haha, sometimes
How about tight? I’ve never heard him say that
Would he watch the sun rise and set with you? Yes
What kind of car does he drive? A blue Nissan 350Z and also a silver BMW 328i
How old is he? My age…but a little younger

[TURN ONS/OFFS IN A GUY]

rides a skateboard: on
dresses like a surfer: off
dresses in all black: on
plays a musical instrument: on
sings songs: on
is shorter than you: off
is taller than you: on
has chapped lips: off
has green eyes: on
has brown eyes: on
has blue eyes: on
has hazel eyes: on
drinks alcohol: on (if moderately)
smokes cigarettes: off
smokes pot: it’s whatever
has brown hair: on
has black hair: on
has blonde hair: on
has dirty blonde hair: on
works out: on
smiles a lot: on
smiles when you walk into the room: on
calls you just to say hi: on
is a deep thinker: on
compliments you: on
has facial hair: OFF!
has freckles: on
is skinny: on
is bigger than you: on
wears eyeliner: off
tongue piercing: off
eyebrow piercing: off
tattoos: off
lip piercing: off
loyal: on
laid back: on .
rich: on
is tan: on (if it’s natural)
wears cologne: on (but NO Axe!…haha Lucy)
wears a hat: on
believes in love at first sight: on
believes in real love: on

[NUMBER]

of times i have had my heart broken: countless
of hearts i have broken: maybe 2?
of continents on which i have lived: 1
of tight friends: 5-6
of CDs I own: Maybe 15-20?
of scars on body: 2
of rings before you answer the phone: usually 2

[FIRSTS]

best friend: Annie
screen name: wildaquariangrl
self purchased album: Britney Spears: Baby, One More Time
funeral: paternal grandmother when I was 6
credit card: not yet
enemy: He shall go unnamed…
road trip: NC to NY when I was 3

[LASTS]

cigarette: 2006 maybe
car ride: yesterday morning
library book checked out: Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis, summer ‘07
movie seen: Quarantine (in theatres) in October, Scent of a Woman on TV this weekend
beverage drank: Coke
food consumed: pudding, tortilla chips, and 3 Reese’s minatures
phone call: Mom last night
time showered: this morning at 9
shoes worn: black Chucks
item bought: a Christmas window cling
CD listened to: Finch “What it is to Burn” on the way to Atlanta over the summer
annoyance: class
time wanting to die: what???
time scolded: probably sometime last weekend
CD you bought? Something by Modest Mouse for my brother
song you sang? “Hide” by Creed in the car
person you hugged? Chris
thing you laughed at? Lucy’s phone call
person you danced with: Chris

[SENTENCE COMPLETION]

In the morning I am: groggy
All I need is: Chris
Love: is a good thing
Horror movies: can be good sometimes
The worst feeling in the world is: anger

[RANDOM]

What do you usually think about before you go to bed? Homework
What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning: Do I have to get up?
Who makes you smile?: everyone
Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them?: no one
First grade teacher's name? Sister Helen
Song stuck in your head? Pass That Dutch by Missy Elliott
If you could play an instrument, it would be: violin
If you could change anything about yourself it would be: my procrastination
What's in your CD player?: don’t have one
What color socks are you wearing? White
What's under your bed? Lucy’s bed (it’s bunked)
What time did you wake up today? 9
What time do you usually wake up? Lately it’s been around 8:45-9
If you had an extra set of eyes where would you put them? Haha…somewhere on the back side of my body
Out of all of your friends, who has the coolest room?: Chris…it’s so big and private
What kind of shampoo do you use? Tresemme Color Thrive
What are you listening to right now? Random noises in the room
Where do you want to get married? Our Lady of Grace Catholic Church, Greensboro, NC
How many buddies are online right now? I’m not signed on
Random lyric: “Let them hos fight, pull the weave out. If a nigga act up pull the Desert Es out. When I pull the piece out niggas like ‘peace ouuuuuut.’”

[SHORT ANSWER]

Name four bad habits you have:
+ procrastination
+ cursing
+ getting angry too quickly
+ being mean

Name four things surrounding your computer:
+ Playboy neon lamp
+ pictures
+ vitamins
+ Germ-X

Name four things you wish you had:
+ more money
+ a miniature dachshund
+ a flexible job
+ a better body

name four scents you love:
+ my freshly shampooed hair
+ fabric softener
+ waffles
+ a clean house

name four things you are thinking about right now:
+ 8 page Shakespeare paper
+ weekend plans
+ snow
+ dinner

name four things that you have done today:
+ went to class
+ this survey (which has taken forever)
+ got upset with someone
+ played on Neopets

name the last four things you have bought:
+ dinner for Chris on Friday
+ gas
+ oil for my car
+ window cling

name four drinks you regularly drink:
+ sweet tea
+ Coke
+ Fuze
+ cranberry juice

Eight places I've visited:
+ San Francisco, CA
+ New York, NY
+ Washington, DC
+ Miami, FL
+ Atlanta, GA
+ Myrtle Beach, SC
+ Bekeley, WV
+ Wilmington, NC

Seven things to win my heart:
+ sense of humor
+ caring
+ sweet
+ smart
+ good hygiene
+ trust
+ understanding

Six things I believe in:
+ God
+ love
+ hope
+ peace
+ human strength
+ miracles

Five things I'm afraid of:
+ spiders
+ roller coasters
+ sharks
+ death
+ being alone

Four favorite items in my bedroom :
+ bed
+ Hello Kitties
+ angels
+ DVD player

Three things I do everyday :
+ Brush my teeth
+ check Facebook
+ take my vitamins

Two things I'm trying not to do right now:
+ stress out
+ homework

One person I want to see right *now*:
+ Chris J

[THE END]

introducing...

Cuddles the hamster! Yes, that's right, I'm now the proud owner of a male long-haired hamster. He is absolutely cute! As you can see, he has white and gray fur. I've never had a hamster that looked like Cuddles before.

Cuddles isn't just mine though. Chris and I went
up to Petco in Kernersville yesterday and adopted him. We decided that a pet is what we need to make our "family" complete (haha). I say that in the most joking way possible. Chris has never had a hamster before, but I've had plenty of them. They're really low maintenance and cute, perfect cuddly animals to start off with. With my most recent exboyfriend whom I dated for nearly four years I had a calico bunny named (so original) "Bunny." Her situation didn't work out too well so I won't get into it, but I know Chris is way more adept at taking care of animals and he actually wants to do it, which is one of the main differences between him and my ex.

So far I haven't had a lot of time to spend with Cuddles because I live in two places at once; that is to say that I have two addresses, each within an hour of each other. I had to return to my Chapel Hill residence this morning. Anyway, I haven't seen him do much other than make his bed in the corner of his "house" and run a little bit on his wheel. Apparently he loves to nibble on people's fingers though because I got nipped twice yesterday and he got Chris's mom too. My previous hamsters, Gris and Doodle, liked to nibble on my fingers too, but I knew that they were just playing. I hope that's the way Cuddles operates too. I don't want any bloody fingers!

That should be all for now. I'm sure there will be more Cuddles posts in the future. Homework is calling my name from a distance!

morning glory

For lack of ambition and thought today, I decided to post one of my writings for all to read. I wrote this piece for my nature writing class that I'm taking this semester. It is accompanied by a picture taken by my boyfriend's mom :)

...

Five wide, white petals join and open towards the sun. They resemble the horn of an old-fashioned Victrola. Creased petals guide eyes down into the center, where a brilliant splash of purple awaits. The morning sun breathes life into these simple, delicate flowers, which are appropriately named morning glories. Some consider them to be weeds which grow unwanted among their prized azaleas or rose bushes. Maybe they fear that the vines may strangle the other flowers. Morning glories can commonly be seen along roadsides and hiking trails, growing within thick mounds of ivy. During the afternoon, the broad horn of petals folds along the creases and closes, leaving the flower to appear asleep. Even in its dormant state, the flower delicately curls at the opening, awaiting the soft rays of the early morning sun. Once the morning glory answers the beckoning of the sun, it will unfold slowly as if waking up from a deep slumber and once again reach with its petals towards its source of life.

The colorful center of the flowers begins when the petals converge. It appears as if the purple rises deep and strong from the center and bursts forth, trying to color the very tips of the petals. The pristine white wins though, forcing the purple to fade from a deep shade to a magenta, and finally to a slight pink. The pattern of fading ends with a feathered effect, suggesting that a painter spread the color upwards with his paintbrush. The stigmas burst forth from their pool of purple and stand tall, awaiting pollination. Morning glories may seem like a menace to gardeners with their vines and seeming urge to dominate, yet they are simple and elegant. The way that they turn their faces towards the sun makes them appear graceful. Something about these flowers suggests beauty in simplicity, and reminds us that even nature needs its beauty sleep.

© Sarah Elizabeth Murray, 2008

Photography © Lisa Cain, 2008

the budget

Doesn't the title sound like an episode of Seinfeld? Sometimes I feel like my life could be on a TV show, but I'll save that for another entry. This one is strictly for highlighting my financial woes.

As (almost) any college student could tell you, it sucks to be broke. Up until this year I had a work-study job but now I don't...long story, not that interesting. Basically, this leaves me with almost no money for anything fun. I'm reminded of this as I sit here eating my Pop 'n Chicken...a microwave Michelina's meal with small pieces of chicken and mashed potatoes in the shape of a smiley face. What's to be happy about when you're a lump of potatoes about to be ingested? I guess it's more for little kids but hey, it was cheap! So, you ask, with no job, how am I able to go to the grocery store? Over the summer I work full time in a relatively well-paying position as a teller. This summer I saved up pretty much all of the money that I earned and am budgeting myself. Each month I move a certain amount of money from my savings account into my checking account. This money isn't a lot compared to what having a biweekly paying job would bring in. Basically it's just enough to pay my bills. If I didn't have a boyfriend I wouldn't have anything. That's really sad...but it's the way things have to be for now.

Speaking of budgets, my boyfriend has also put me on one. I'm allotted a certain amount of money from him a month for our dinner dates, etc. He owns his own company but I guess he isn't getting any business right now...and hasn't since last year. I feel bad for spending his money but at the same time I have a need for a life. Like I already said, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have anything at all. He's a very generous person and I love him for it, but I absolutely suck at budgeting! For instance, it's only the second week in November and I'm already half way through my budget for the month. I just know I'm going to go over, especially since I've been coming home every weekend this month when usually I stay in Chapel Hill most of the time. I have no idea what's going to happen...

I know many of you are asking, "Why doesn't she just get a job?" Well the answer to that is simple. I'm already stressed enough with my school work and sometimes I barely have enough time to do it all. I know I could be better with my time but still, I feel like I need time to relax as well as to do my work. Anyways, if I got a job that would take up all of my free time and eventually cut into my work time. I would love to have a work-study job, but a job off campus is so inconvenient due to transportation problems and time requirements. I just hope I can work during Christmas break. If not, I'm definitely going to have a lot of trouble coming my way.

Hope everyone is having a better time with their checkbooks than I am!

brunette!

This weekend when I went home I did something really drastic to my hair...ehhh...not in a bad way though! I've always been a blonde, though my hair has been varying shades (all natural). I decided it was time to change it up a little so I went to Supercuts in Kernersville and got my hair beauty-fied. The first thing I did was to get my eyebrows waxed again, and then my stylist (Kayla) dyed my hair a color called "Chestnut." It's only two shades darker than my natural color so it isn't that big of a change, which is good for preventing freak-outs. Then she cut my hair in layers and gave me a side bang that hangs over my face from the left side. After that it was all styled and such, which is both good and bad. Good in that I looked like a foxy mama coming out of the salon, but bad because I could never recreate it! I can only hope that maybe one day when I have lots of time on my hands I can have the patience to dry my hair with my trusty round brush and it will come out like it did yesterday. I walked in wanting something different, and boy did I get it! Kayla got a really big tip for all of her hard work and let me tell you, she is awesome with color (and everything else)! So if you're ever in K-Vegas and want a haircut, I highly recommend her.

On a different note, I counted at least seven ladybugs in one of my classrooms today. Others were also commenting that they had seen a gratuitous amount of the red beetles elsewhere across campus. What is the deal?!? Maybe I'll figure it out and get back to ya'll.

See you later!

d.t.p. (disturbing the peace)

Remember how in my first post I said that this blog was mainly a kvetching board? Today's entry will be a full fledged kvetch, so if you're interested in my complaints read on...

First of all, I know some people don't know what a kvetch is. I'll define it as the school newspaper, The Daily Tarheel, defines it:
kvetch (v): [Yiddish] to complain

On Fridays, the DTH publishes a section called the "Kvetching Board" where students send in their anonymous complaints. They're usually pretty funny, but some aren't that great. A few weeks ago my roommate and BFF Lucy ran across one that made me almost fall out of my chair laughing (literally!). Here it is, reprinted in full:

"Thank you, Cobb Community, for being stricter than a Catholic school. The RAs should just start wearing habits when they hand out noise violations at 10:30 on a Saturday night."

Here's the background story for why I found that so funny...

One weekend me, Lucy, and our other roommate Emily were watching one of Quentin Taratino's finest films, Pulp Fiction. Anyone who has seen the film knows that it is pretty long, so we were just finishing it around 2:00 AM on a Saturday morning. Literally as soon as we turned the TV off, someone came knocking on our door. We didn't know what to expect. Maybe it was a neighbor asking us to turn our TV down, which would be a completely acceptable request. I know the walls are thin and pretty much anything can be easily heard if you live next door. Let me preface something at this point: The TV WAS NOT loud enough to be heard out in the hallway, which would have been ridiculous. Even though the walls are thin, it still takes a lot of noise to be heard in the hallway. So anyway, Emily opens the door and it happens to be the RA on Duty, asking us to "please turn your music down." Like I said before, we had turn the TV off before she knocked. We complied and didn't think anything of it until the following Tuesday when the RA on our hall came and gave us an envelope. I opened it and inside was a long letter stating that we had received a noise violation!!! This letter was completely unexpected and definitely an unwelcome intruder. I thought that noise violations were only to be given out if we did not comply with the RA on Duty's wishes. For example, if she had to tell us more than once to turn it down, a noise violation would be acceptable in my opinion. Apparently this isn't the case this year. Noise violations in Cobb run more rampant than bunnies in the spring. Seriously.

Here is the next example of unfairness on behalf of Cobb:
Lucy had a few guests over one weekend when I went home. There were only two girls visiting and it was a little late on a Friday night when they returned to our room. Lucy told me that she and her two friends were talking at a normal level, not yelling or being excessively loud, when not one but TWO RAs on Duty come a knocking at our door (around 12:15 AM). Once again, we were given a noise violation, except this one didn't have an accompanying write-up. I find this completely gratuitous. Now I understand that "Quiet Hours" start at 9:00 PM, but seriously, if we're talking at normal volumes and not disturbing anyone it shouldn't be a problem. Cobb RAs have totally turned into Nazis this year, and for no apparent reason.

Once again, I would like to point out that the two times we were asked to quiet down were on the weekend. Completely ridiculous! Who is studying on a Friday or Saturday night/morning? Pretty much no one. If it was during exam time I would completely understand. What baffles me is that there is a lot of noise on our hall on weeknights and I don't hear RAs knocking on doors then. If you're going to be a stickler for the rules, at least be consistent with it and give out those letters on weekdays when they actually matter.

People on the hall continue to receive noise violations, but so far our room hasn't had any other than those two. I'm glad to be noise violation-free, but at the same time I still wonder why we even had any to begin with. I know about being a curteous neighbor and I wouldn't do anything that I felt would annoy any of my hallmates (which can't be said for some of the girls who live on this hall). I'll never know why the powers that be decided to put us residents in a chokehold this year, but at least it has become a running joke in our room. We always say "Oh, you better watch out! The volume is above 10!!!" when we watch a movie or something on the weekends. I guess it's better to make light out of a situation that you don't completely understand rather than stressing about it.

Sorry for the long entry, but sometimes there's just something a girl's got to get off of her chest (even if it is old news)!
Until next time!

ladybugs

I'd like to start this entry by congratulating our new president elect, Barack Obama. I seriously hope he does us right.

Moving along...

I've seen a lot of ladybugs near my dorm today. I really don't know what's going on being as I used my trusty Wikipedia and it seems that they disappear during the winter. I know it isn't winter yet, but I still think it's extremely odd to see so many of them flying around. I love ladybugs. They're really pretty and they've always been my favorite insect. I didn't know until today that they were a type of beetle. Call me crazy, but I just never even thought about it! You really do learn something new every day.

This weekend I'm going to get a semi-makeover. My hair is getting really unruly so I'm cutting it. Not too short, but short enough. I'm also thinking about getting color and going brunette. I definitely need a change of pace. That's a decision I'm going to have to think really hard about though. I've always enjoyed my natural strawberry blond. What if it doesn't come back? What if I don't like being brunette? We'll see how it pans out.

Shakespeare and nature critiques are calling so I have to cut this short. Hope you enjoy the rest of your evening!

happy election day!

It only comes once every four years, and it's not Leap Day. It's the day when we voice our opinions and elect a new president for our country. As I explained last time, I am a student at UNC Chapel Hill, also known as "The Most Liberal Place in North Carolina." I've seen a lot of Obama t-shirts and bumper stickers that read "1.20.09: Bush's Last Day." These sightings don't surprise me at all, and actually I'd be scared and wonder if hell froze over if I didn't see them. But me, I'm not so liberal. I'm pretty moderate for the most part. As I try to explain to people often, I'm financially conservative and socially liberal. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for gay rights and a woman's right to choose an abortion, but I feel like this year the social issues can wait. Has anyone seen the state of our economy? Granted I'm not extremely worried about the recession because I've taken a Civics & Economics class and am well aware that the economy runs in a cycle. Remember a few years ago when we were on the verge of a recession and now it's happened? Case in point. I know that in order for a boom cycle, a bust cycle must follow or preceed. Inflation is bad and people are losing their jobs. The banks are in a big mess because of the subprime lending crisis and the stock market continues to plumet. While these facts are scary, I do have hope (not to be overly Obama-esque) for the future of our country. The day will come when the stock market will rise, new jobs will be created, inflation will go down, and the dollar's worth will grow back to its previous standing (if not better). Our economic situation prompted me to vote for John McCain, and I will stand by my decision no matter what someone wants to throw at me. I have no doubt that both candidates are highly qualified for the position, but McCain seems like the better choice for what I believe in. I feel like he can take control of our economy and help it along so that our suffering isn't so bad. In my opinion, McCain seems to have a better understanding of economics and taxes than Obama.

That aside, I truly hope everyone got out and voted either early or today. Thank you for braving the long lines if you encountered them. In today's day and age it is extremely important for everyone to exercise their right to vote. This wouldn't be a democracy if we didn't have any say in the matter. Whoever wins, I know that this presidential term will be a new thing for our country and I'm really interested in seeing what happens.

Fox News is on mute right now so I can occassionally check out the returns. I can't wait to see who we chose for our new president!
Here's to both men...may the best one win!

bonjour!

So I already have a blog at MySpace, and I'm pretty sure that I'm getting one on a "real" website later this month. This is a temporary blog. Sometimes a girl just needs to get her thoughts on paper, or in the case, on the web. At first the idea of blogging was a little creepy to me..."wow, someone can read my thoughts..." well, not exactly. I have to let them in. So I am. Welcome to the inside circle, although it may not be that interesting or the most desirable place to be.

A little about me:

I'm 20 years old (soon to be 21) and a junior in college (UNC Chapel Hill). I'm working on a Bachelor of Arts degree in English with a minor in Creative Writing (hence the blog). After finishing my BA, I want to go on to law school to get my JD degree. Hopefully I'll either be a divorce lawyer, a corporate attorney, or a criminal prosecutor. I haven't decided as of yet. I have a wonderful boyfriend who dotes on me more than he should. He puts up with me...what can I say? I love him for it. We've been dating for almost eight months.

My two favorite things are dogs and babies. I hope to have a little of both in the future. My mom inadvertantly promised me a miniature dachshund when I graduate from college so I've already picked out his name: Tyson. To go along with Tyson, a teacup pomeranian would be cute and since they resemble miniature teddy bears, his name would be Teddy. So there you have it, the name of my blog comes from my future pets. Cute? Maybe.

I have an expensive taste for the finer things in life (ask the boyfriend). Unfortunately, money doesn't grow on trees as I thought it did when I was younger. North Carolina did not provide me with work-study money this year so I had to work extra hard over the summer and save up everything. This puts a huge damper on my desire to own a Coach handbag, a Burberry scarf, Chanel sunglasses, and other costly accessories. Being unemployed bites. That said, my favorite store is DSW (Designer Shoe Warehouse) and I'm always browsing in there for my next great purchase. I guess when I have my own house it'll have to have one of those gigantic closets like Carrie has in Sex and the City. Otherwise I don't know where all of my things are going to fit.

I think that's enough about me for now. I'll be sure to try to keep this thing updated frequently, but I'm not promising everyday. Maybe from time to time I'll post a few of my short pieces of writing, but mostly this will just be a kvetching board...perhaps I'll steal some of those from The Daily Tarheel.

Until next time.
Au revoir!